And the honest answer is: Yes.
How do I feel about that? Very very VERY happy.
How long did it take me to answer that question? About 15 seconds.
To be honest, I’m not really into the whole ‘self-reflection’ bananas. I know myself pretty well so I don’t go into one of those moments where I think back about my behaviour and decisions.
Some of the change has to do with the resolution that I made this year. Sounds corny, I know. But the fact that I haven’t broken it and kept going, well, not so corny. But the resolution analysis is a post for another time, probably at the end of this year!
How have I changed?
I’ve gotten more resilient. I learnt to keep going. I love being busy anyway, but this year, I’ve branched into so many different aspects of what actually keeps a person busy, physically, mentally and emotionally.
Let’s take a look at the physical part: I’ve been working out and eating healthy since January 2016. I was fat, kind of, chubby. And it was hard, but when I look back right now, am I glad that I started and kept going! I’ve lost so much weight, all my clothes have gotten lose and I’ve gotten all the usual “Dude, look at you!” and “How on earth did you manage to lose so much weight?” compliments which makes me fly. I have a goal, I’m still a work in progress, but maaaaan, I’ve gotten much further than I was a few months back! I will definitely write about this, but only after I’m super satisfied with the results. This is definitely another blog post, in and of itself.
Now, the mental part: I’ve become happier. I just learned how to shut my mind from things that I don’t care about, and to be honest, I don’t even know how I managed that part! I’ve been the type to over-think and over-analyse, and this new feeling of not doing any of that, is one big hell of a vacation! I do lapse momentarily into the irrational abyss, from time to time, but I come out of it much faster and the feeling’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
To the emotional part: I suck at this. I come from the Dean Winchester school of emotions, where I shove it aside and ignore it for the rest of my life. And guess what? It’s working perfectly fine. Nothing gets to me anymore, unless I let it. It’s EXACTLY what I’ve been hoping to achieve! Healthy or unhealthy, only time will tell. (Eeeeeeeeeeeks!) But in all seriousness, I’ve moved on from so many things, and from so many people that it feels like I’ve run a great big long-ass marathon. Somebody give me a medal!
Let me give you guys one example of why some changes are necessary in your life: This is from personal experience, therefore, kind of a silly one. I got my nose pierced on a last minute whim. I had discussed it with a few friends but all I heard were “It wouldn’t suit you” or “You’ll look different” I had my own doubts of whether me, a self certified badass, could pull off something as girly and classy as a nose stud. So what if I looked different? Is that even a big deal? I said screw it and went and got the piercing, and I realized that I’ve never looked prettier. Now all I hear is “It suits you, you look so pretty”, like BRUH, I KNOW. A silly example, but you get what I’m saying, right?
I made a pact that I would read as much as possible, which I most definitely did: Books I’ve read so far in 2016….and there’s still more to go!
I’ve met a ton of new people, which was slightly weird and yet so fascinating at the same time!
It was a struggle at first, but now, I’m able to manage both my writing and engineering side. I’ve been studying hard and practicing for all the upcoming job interviews and project reviews, while at the same time, I’ve been doing a lot more writing and blogging to keep myself sane.
I’ve gotten more in touch with myself (get your minds out of the gutter, you guys) I’ve learnt so much about myself, what I’m capable of, what I can do when I really put my mind to something, that it’s getting me excited about the future more than ever!
But, really, I’ve just been busy 😀
I just want to let you guys know that when you take it upon yourself to make yourself better or even change yourself, or when you want to do something that will make you happy, know that only you can do it. Don’t rely on anyone but yourself. Put in some time, focus, and you’ll see what you can do. It’s a slow process but trust me, it gets better 🙂 I promise 🙂
I hope 2016’s been treating you all well and your nerdy butts are happy!