I Identify as a Straight up Book-Whore!

"I work out so I can carry more books" workout top. Pumpin' It Bookworm Style: Bookish Fitness Apparel - BOOK RIOT:

(P.C. :Pinterest)

Did the title catch your attention? I bet it did! Since most of the stuff on the internet these days start with “I identify as a sometimes-straight-sometimes-bi-unicorn-grande-latte-with-extra-cream-and-glitter-“, either on posts or comments (seriously, EVERYWHERE!), expressing their gratitude or that they’re offended (“I identify as a celestial-being-sexual and your picture of a human offends me” *cough* Destiel shippers *cough*), I thought it’d be cool to identify as something too, therefore, BOOK-WHORE!

Now, book-whores are the wild counterparts of your regular bookworms. Or bookworms on crack. For example, bookworms are the kids who sit quietly by themselves, and are shy, and are sweet and polite and soft-spoken, while the book-whores are those jocks who make a lot of ruckus and run up to your face and go “LOOK. MUSCLES. MINE. TOUCH IT. NOW”, but in this context, instead of muscles, it’s books, titles, authors, various information, along with the beautiful fan-fics, theories, fan-arts, etc.

Here are some of the characteristics of book-whores and if you relate to them, you may pat yourself on the back, and allow yourself a smirk worthy of Draco Malfoy!

  1. When you go to a bookstore to buy just one book, and then you see so many new releases and you think thoughts like “Maybe if I don’t eat for a month, I’ll be fine”, and then realize you don’t have enough money and you just drop down and make dying whale noises in the middle of the store
  2. Lending books to your friends is your worst nightmare.                                                 Me: “Hey, you’ve got to read this new book!”                                                                         Friend: “Oh sure, do you have it?”                                                                                               Me: “Omg, it’s amazing!”                                                                                                         Friend: “Alright, will you-”                                                                                                           Me: “It’s available online”                                                                                                           Friend: “Why would I buy it if you already have it?”                                                                   Me: “I said- It’s available online”                                                                                           Friend: “But why-”                                                                                                                           Me: “BITCH I’D RATHER SACRIFICE MY FIRSTBORN TO SATAN BEFORE I GIVE YOU ANY OF MY BOOKS!”
  3. You get a new book and you open it, and take that deep breath, and not just your regular inhalation, but with a breath like you’re trying to suck out all the words that are printed through your nostrils. If you do not creep out the people around you, then you’re not doing it right
  4. Every time you read a story, you’re completely invested. Your life is not a priority anymore! Heck, your life isn’t even real! It doesn’t exist! What exists is the world between your hands! All the characters are your babies right now. They laugh, you laugh. They cry, so do you. They die, well, you too end up dying, on the inside because of ALL THE FEELS! You’re not just investing your time, oh no, you invest everything, your mind, your emotions, your entire self! And you behave according to that particular scenario, story or the character.
  5. Punch anyone that says “Oh it’s just a story” or “He/She isn’t even real”. Oh yeah, then you wouldn’t mind me punching you because your face is JUST a face! (That was lame but you get me)
  6. Do you just stare at your bookshelf and all your 1,00,000 books and go “Well, I have absolutely NOTHING to read” and then go buy another 1,00,000 books that you add to your pile and finally end up reading that book that you’ve already read, like, a 1,00,000 times? Yeah, you book-who(arder)re!
  7. You’re stuck between reality and what you read a few minutes before. It’s a beautiful day with the sun shining and the birds singing, but your favourite character just died? You’re stuck in a limbo. So, obviously, you walk around with a frown on your face while your heart is shattered into a million pieces. Or, you’re at a funeral but your love-birds kissed and made-up at the end of the story? Oh, quit blushing at the guests, will you?
  8. End of the story? Pssssssssssssh! Everybody knows that stories never end! Welcome to the internet, where the sediments of a finished story, are further broken into segments, with a few tweaks here and there, to suit the comfort of your mind, and voila! Fanfiction! And there’s fanarts, and theories and various notes from the author! (Seriously, bless JKR for keeping the magic alive with her short essays that are filling Potterheads’ bellies like a warm glass of Butterbeer!)
  9. Get a heart attack when they make a movie adaptation of your favourite book and start freaking out a 100 years even before the movie is due, while getting your friends equally riled up, and finally, after years and years of waiting, you watch the movie, and however good it was, your brain goes “Huh. The book was waaaaaaay better”
  10. Shove a book under EVERYONE’S nose and go “Did you know, in the book….”
  11. You are an intellectually superior being that has immense knowledge about different worlds and people, therefore you have every right, in any argument, to smack someone’s face and say “READ A FUCKIN’ BOOK!”

Well, there you go! I’ve listed out the top 10 things that sets me apart from the peasants. If I have missed out any other amendments from our world-class order of book-whores, do let me know! 🙂

Till then,

Cheers

and

READ A FUCKIN’ BOOK!

WBG :)x


Oh, wait, I’m not done yet, apparently. So, this is weird, and embarrassing, but could you guys start sharing my posts to your friends or your pets or whomever? Now that I’ve got a good number of followers, I’m taking this a little more seriously. So, by the time I hit 2k followers, I’ll probably make a Facebook page and all that social media cahoot to get more traffic! So, please, do share this on Facebook, or Twitter, or any social media platform and I promise to get you guys treasure from the Mountains of Erebor!

Ciao! 🙂


 

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74 thoughts on “I Identify as a Straight up Book-Whore!

  1. LG says:

    And when you see the 97% at the bottom of the kindle, you read e.x.t.r.a..s.l.o.w.l.y because heck you only have 3% of the book left, and oh my god, what can I do after the book is done….pointless life…why was I born…is there a reason to live…breathe breathe breathe….oh wait, there is another new book….yay….

    Liked by 3 people

  2. LG says:

    Oh, also, I have publicised (as against privatised) my book review blog…in case you like reading reviews, hop over. That is my link page now.
    BTW, I am very aware of the fact that those who can’t write, review. And I review !

    Liked by 2 people

  3. levishedated (Robert C Day) says:

    Yeah, I was totally going to Like it until I saw that last part about begging for attention and it kind or turned me right off. Just saying.
    Shame, because I was going to offer to be your exclusive Book Pimp (like – my ideal job – forever!)

    Hi – I’m Robert and I’m in England and I don’t make friends easy. I wonder why.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That Weird Brown Girl says:

      It’s not in every post that I get to open my arms wide to catch all the bags of attention. Just saying.
      Expand on the prospect of being my book pimp?
      Hey Bob, you just made an almost-friend, and you needn’t wonder much on the “almost” part.
      😁

      Liked by 1 person

  4. levishedated (Robert C Day) says:

    I guess I’m a bit of a junkie for attention too and so I can totally dig where you’re coming from. The close mirror image was a little uncomfortable for a while, but I think I’m over that.
    I dunno – the Book Pimp deal seemed like an easy link from you to me. Whore/Pimp – a match made in heaven. I read a heck of a lot of books (108 pa) and then I just give them away as fast as I can.
    I’ll not stress too much on the ‘almost’ – life is full of all sorts of twists and turns. 🙂
    Good to meet you. This post is awesome.
    Robert.

    Liked by 1 person

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