I’ve been told that I’m quite picky when it comes to people. I always thought I was friendly enough to people I’ve shared a few beers with. But, apparently, there’s a difference between being friendly to someone and becoming friends with someone. Wow, just what we need, another complicated people-related conundrum.
So, I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit, and I’ve realized that I definitely, without a doubt, do have this list or rather, quite a few terms and conditions for me to actually like you, as a friend or something more.
Before I start, let me just tell you that this isn’t the cliched list that contains phrases like “you should be yourself” or “you should totally spend billions helping the poor”, etc,. Like, NAH. What this list contains are the thoughts, words and quirks that I’ve been insanely attracted to, over the years.
- So, I have a really good memory. It’s amazing, really, because I tend to remember people’s faces and names REALLY WELL, I shit you not. I only pretend to forget and be all “You’re blah-blah, right?” when my brain’s clearly snorting and saying, “Like you didn’t know”. Among this, I also remember certain events/situations that people may have mentioned, like, a million days before. Some people find it super creepy when I blurt it out, but if you’re one of those who feel genuinely flattered or take it as a compliment, without the offended omg-you’re-such-a-stalker expression, chances are, I probably like you.
- Dark humour. I love love LOVE dark humour. It cracks me up, which just goes to show what a mess the inside of my head is. FYI- If you ever sit next to me during a funeral, lean in and whisper “I see dead people”, I’d probably just start grunting like a pig and give you the world’s biggest high-five.
- Similar to point 1, if you ever remember tiny details about me or what I’ve said, like, a day before, I’d hug you. Really. It’s one of the cutest things ever.
- SPONTANEITY. If I ever come up to you, randomly, and challenge you to a duel with breadsticks, and you actually accept the challenge instead of standing still like a stupid moron, then I guarantee you, we’ll be best friends forever, and I will always be your champion for your future trial by combat situations.
- You find a dirty joke in any boring conversation, or even a stupid pun, get ready for a day-long marathon of, well, dirty jokes and stupid puns.
- If you prioritize acting out epic scenes from movies or tv shows on a normal, daily basis, or even something cheesy, like High School Musical, we’re BFFs forever.
- As much as I love deep, intellectual conversations at 3:00 a.m, arguments on how best to properly pronounce “GIFs”, or speculations about what exactly is it that Podrick does to women, is a big YES to our friendship/relationship.
- My sense of humour is so warped nowadays, like, I don’t laugh at properly construed, well thought out jokes. I laugh at words like goat, fart, booger. You laugh along with me, then we’re cool.
- I’m the type to get angry super fast but also cool down faster, so if we ever have a fight or get into an emotional teary mess, we resolve to have a Yo Momma battle, or maybe just rapping mad fire.
- A 24 hour talk about Harry Potter or Game of Thrones, from Daenerys’ boobs to comparing wand lengths(smirk), makes me happy. And if I really like you, then I’d even listen to you talk about your favourite things, be it your favourite murderer or satanic cult.
Well, there you go. Now that wasn’t too pretentious or anything, was it? See, it’s the simple things that I like and go for.
Ah well, everyone’s wired differently, you’ve just got to find who you’re tangled up with in this mess called Life!
(Did you see that? Wired, and tangled, damn I am goooooooood)
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