Like everyone else in this world, I have a love/hate, bittersweet relationship with the society that I was raised in. When it does something good, I’m all for it. But when it steps out of line, you’ll see me on the other side, preparing to go all out!
Now, this post is about the things in my society, emphasis on “Indian” society, that irks me, that sort of nags me from time to time. But there are some good things too, maybe not blatant but it’s there! I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’ve come a LOOOOONG way, there have been changes, but even then, the traditions still creep up like weeds.
Some of the things that annoy me are:
Trust me, I still don’t get it either.
Like, hello mom and dad, are YOU going to marry this stranger and carry his child in the coming years?! Are YOU going to be awkwardly boning him/her during the honeymoon?! Because I sure as hell will not! You know what’s funny? Even now, the concept of “dating” and “boyfriend/girlfriend” are still passed in hushed tones for fear of what the neighbouring “aunty-ji” would hear and start gossiping. However chill or “modern” your parents may be, they still have a teensy bit of old-school tradition of keeping up the appearance of a non-dysfunctional family. Hence, they take up the responsibility of choosing the ideal mate in order for you to procreate.
Love? HA! What is Love? Love is meeting your husband for the second time during your honeymoon! Love is marrying the person your amazing parents select. Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know my vagina was an important tool for carrying on the family name and just that. And God forbid you fall in love with someone outside your caste, much less a non-Indian. Get ready for a year of drama involving a lot of advice,opinions and finally, when they succumb to your demands, you will be too EXHAUSTED to even care about the whole damn thing.
Please, if you’re a homosexual and an Indian, get out of this country as soon as you can! Here, take my prayers as well. This country is not yet ready to accept the fact that men can love men, or women can love other women, or men like wearing dresses and heels,.etc. It’s bad enough they hate seeing women overtaking them in many different places, now they’ve to deal with men, dressed like women, fighting for jobs and such? Hell naw, they won’t allow that. Apparently it’s “unnatural”. The way the people here treat the transgenders is horrible.
But there’s fault on the trannies too, because they harass men, and recently women, when they don’t get their pay! By pay,I mean, they form a group and go around every traffic signal asking for money and there’s this age old superstition that if you don’t give them the money, they curse you BIG TIME. I don’t know, maybe it’s because they’re from a poorer section and they don’t have much education, but one of the root causes is, obviously, the way society treats them.
Tattoos & Piercings:
According to all the “mummies” and “daddies”, people who have a lot of tattoos and piercings are “bad” and they “do drugs” and have “no jobs”. My ears are covered in piercings and when I go for any fam-jams, you should see how the ladies scrutinize my face. Straight up, they come over and pull my ears and start “tsk”-ing, about how I look like some sort of tribal woman. And then I say something back like how all the makeup on aunty’s face looks like a tribal art and suddenly, I’m the bad one! Unfair!
Like hello, I have a freaking degree in Engineering and will soon be getting a Master’s too with a high paying job, but oh no no no that’s nothing compared to your current shower of validations just flowing all over me like I’m under a waterfall!
It’s funny, I’ll soon be getting a tattoo and I can’t wait to see their reactions then!
This. Open up your windows already to let the bullshit out.
I don’t know why, but some Indians are obsessed, OBSESSED, with being fair-complexioned. Believe it or not, we have a face cream called “Fair & Lovely”, where you become “fair” within a few days. I cannot type because I’m laughing my butt off just thinking about this.
South Indians have a brown complexion but some people here, you know what they do, they put talcum powder on their face, thinking it brightens their skin, while in fact, it makes them look grey. Straight up, it’s a zombie movie! Fun story: I was on a flight and there was this big gang of middle-aged women who looked like they just got done auditioning as the undead on the Walking Dead. Can I call for a messiah in order to stop this stupidity?! Sheesh.
And it’s just the Indians! Seriously, I’m speaking from personal experience! I’ve had friends from Cape Town, London, Melbourne, etc, telling me how LUCKY I am to get such a beautiful skin colour and how pretty I look! (Thank You!) But according to Indian standards, I’m wayyyyyy at the bottom. Cheers.
So I had a couple of aunties asking me what my plan was after uni, so for fun I told them that I would be moving in with my girlfriend. Yup, chaos on the words “moving in”, and then “girlfriend”. Notice the way the chaos was prioritized. Serves them right, trying to get me hitched to some mama’s boy!
To all the non-Indians getting hitched into an Indian family,my heart goes out to you! You can’t get rid of these relatives, so keep your guns and answers ready, for when they strike, they go all out. They just HAVE TO know EVERYTHING! My grades, my salary, my plans. Like hello, I don’t remember ordering another set of parents to answer to?!
But, hey, despite all these annoying traits, we do have some good points too! Our society is warm and welcoming! We’re sincere and loving, it’s just that some traditions are so deeply instilled within some of us, it takes time to open up!
“Thank You, Come back Again.”